Tuesday, February 12, 2013

PSC Part 2: the pack out

Preparing for our pack out was probably the most stressful part of our move.  Being that this was our first time PCSing, I really had no idea what to expect.  I had tried asking people I know and women on the Facebook wive's page for our duty station for advice.  Some of the advice I received was something along the lines of:

- don't do anything, the movers do it all for you!
- pre-package everything you can into original boxes (some also suggested leaving the lids open so movers could inspect the goods)
-separate things by room
- one lady was really rude about it and made a comment about how on earth did families manage to PCS before Facebook (that was the extent of her comment)

There was plenty more advice I received, but those seemed to be the most common.  I would say I did something in between.  I just could not bring myself to believe that there was literally nothing I should do to prepare for someone to come in and to box up my entire house.  One blog that I found extremely helpful was the thecultivatedmother.  She had some really great advice about how to prepare your house for the movers.  Her blog has an entire section on her PCS experience to Japan.

I decided that there was no way I was leaving my house "as is" for the movers- that was just too hard for my OCD self!  For one, there was so much stuff I was convinced we no longer needed.  Rule of thumb:  if you haven't used something in over a year, get rid of it (either trash, sell or donate)!  We had also decided we were not bringing our daughter's toddler bed with us; she will be getting a "big girl bed" in our new house!  I knew we were not bringing the furniture in our guest room (we sold that before I left), so I made that room the place to put anything that was not going in our HHG (household goods) shipment.

I had Mike box up all of our major appliances (mostly kitchen appliances) and put the box for our 55 inch TV next to the entertainment center for the movers to package (that way they are 100% liable for any damages incurred).  We also bought about 10 large plastic bins and a handful of smaller ones.  We tried to group like items together so we would know where things were once we got our house back.  I am really glad we decided to do this because I learned a few things during the pack out!  Here's a list:

- yes, the movers REALLY do pack everything!
- however... they sometimes put things in the most places... for example, they stuffed our bedroom pillows into our bookshelf as a space filler.  They also found things to set in the space under our dining chairs (in between the legs)
-the movers were really good about writing which room things came from on the packages (the exception to this were things stuffed places, as mentioned above)
- Japanese movers are FAST!  Our entire house (with the exception of our UB shipment and things not going to San Diego) was packed up in about 4 hours total, including their break time.

I had heard that Japanese movers were quick and efficient, now I've seen it first hand!  I also feel like they did a really good job packing everything safely, but there is no way for me to know that until our shipment arrives (and I have a place to live!).  It was surprisingly hard for me to see all our things go and have an empty house.  I was so excited to move, but I remember wanting to cry when everything was gone!

Our UB (unaccompanied baggage, or express shipment) was the next day.  Most people usually put dishes and important household items in this shipment.  I was not really concerned with those things since I knew I would be staying with family in the meantime and would not need those things right away.  Instead, I put most of my clothing and shoes, our 32 inch TV, our bed linens, some office supplies, our wireless router and the toys not being shipped to California immediately.  Our UB shipment was really small, and took them about an hour to pack up.  I had brought all of it out into the living room area after the movers were finished the previous day.  I really feel like it made it so much easier to group things together like that.

All in all, I'd say the pack out process went pretty well.  I really wish I had started to prepare sooner though.  The night before the main pack out, I got about 4 hours of sleep and Mike stayed up all night (he's so great) getting everything ready.  We had a busy month or so prior to the pack out with family visiting and Mike returning from deployment so it just ended up being really rushed and hectic.  Part of this was also due to the fact that Alexis and I were leaving about 3 months early.  I am sure that things were packed we no longer need nor want, but it's not like we can't get rid of them on this end once it's all delivered.

My to do lists really made things easier, and I'll be keeping those in my moving binder (see previous post) for our next PCS!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

PCS part 1

I've been meaning to update for quite some time, but between flying back to the US, adjusting, and then getting sick, I've been a little preoccupied!  I'll be making several posts about our PCS, to keep them from getting too lengthy and just to break it down more easily.  This post is about my Moving Binder- everyone should make one when they move, especially military families!

Prior to our (and by "our" I mean Alexis and I, Mike is still in Japan) PCS, I received lots of advice from various sources.  I found an idea on Pinterest (one of my favorite websites) about creating a moving binder.  The link to the page is here: moving binder.  I modified it slightly in order to tailor to a military move.  I bought a 1 1/2 inch binder. two sets of 5 tabs, a label maker, a pack of college rule paper (any lined paper will do), sheet protecters, and a pouch (for receipts).  I labeled my tabs (with the label maker) as the following (in this order):

- Orders
- Travel Documents
- Movers & Packing
- Moving Checklist (from)
- Moving Checklist (to)
- Housing
- Receipts (this is also where I put the pouch)
- Claims
- POAs
- Other

Going along with the moving binder I found on Pinterest (linked above), I put several sheet protecters and lined paper in each section, for any notes or information I might need to jot down.  Below is what I put into each section.

ORDERS: This is pretty self-explanatory, I put several copies of my husband's new orders in here, because I had been told I would need several copies for various places.  Since we flew on a commercial flight, I did not need as many copies as I would have if we had flown on a AMC flight.

TRAVEL DOCUMENTS:  I placed a copy of our itineraries and passports.  Again, I did not need these, but I believe we would have in the event that we had flown on a military flight versus commercially.  It was more of a "just in case" for us.  Not a whole lot really went in this section.

MOVERS AND PACKING: Any paperwork we received from Personal Property in Japan was put into this section.  This includes the paperwork scheduling my pack out, emails from the moving companies, and the inventory lists from both our HHG (household goods) and UB (unaccompanied baggage).  I have also received a handful of emails from the company that is *supposed* (this could change by the time our possessions arrive) to do our moving in San Diego, so I included those in this section as well, for continuity and organization.

MOVING CHECKLIST (from):  I kept several lists here.  I had my "to do" list, of things I need to get ready before the pack out, and things to be done to turn in our keys (housing inspection, shutting off cable, internet, phones, etc).  I created a list of what was going in our UB pack out (I'll talk about the pack outs in another post), what I was mailing out, and what we were going to try to sell before we left.  I am keeping those lists as a reference for the next time we PCS, even though I'll probably change some things on them.

MOVING CHECKLIST (to):  Currently this section is blank.  I included it in my binder, but... haven't used it so far.  I may get rid of it, we'll see.  I may write down things that I'll need for our new house here, I have not decided yet.

HOUSING:  Now that I am in California, this is where I am keeping all my housing documents.  I have a copy of of my application for base housing, as well as a LOT of notes.  I have been looking at houses out in town (not the base housing) and plan on checking out some areas.  As I'm going through places on the internet, I've been writing down information on the ones I'm interested in.  Basically I am just trying to figure out if we can afford a 3 bedroom relatively close to Mike's work and my school without going over our BAH (housing allowance that the Navy gives us).  We get $2133 a month, so we'll see. I plan on going down there possibly next weekend to check some places out.

RECEIPTS:  It's *very* important to keep receipts from a PCS, because you never know what they will reimburse you for (I supposed if you are familiar with the JFTR, you might have it down... or if you're well seasoned in PCSing).  It's best just to turn in everything you have, the worst they will do is deny it.  Personally, I'd rather get back as much money as possible!  We spent about $300 mailing stuff to California, so that's the biggest expense I'd like to see reimbursed.  I do not think we will get all of it back, I believe there is a limit, but we are still turning all the receipts in to Mike's new command.

CLAIMS:  So far, this section is empty as well, and I hope it stays empty! *fingers crossed*  This section will be used if any of our belongings were damaged during the move.  There is a certain amount of time we have to file the claims in.  I've been told that we should have the movers check all our appliances (TVs especially) to ensure they work before they leave the house.  Apparently it's harder to claim these things once they've left the house.  We are obviously hoping nothing is damaged, but that has yet to be seen.  Our belongings are not even scheduled to be here until March 1 and March 15 (assuming I find a place for them to move me into).

POA's:  If you are moving without your husband (or even with), you should definitely have a Power of Attorney!  I actually have more than one, in order to cover everything I should need while we are apart.  I have the originals, and some copies.  Some places like to make a copy for their records (the housing office), so I made it easier and provided my own.

OTHER:  Obviously this section encompasses anything I did not think to include in the other tabs.  Again, it is empty (with the exception of blank lined paper).  I will for sure be keeping this section though, because sometimes you come up with things that don't exactly fit in the other categories.

That's my moving binder!  It has helped me keep all the paperwork organized in one central location so that it is easy to find.  I'm pretty OCD and organization is very important to me.  I really feel like having this binder helped keep my stress level a little bit lower, knowing I could easily find things and I didn't have to worry about them getting misplaced.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Jekyll and Hyde

The other day I heard someone make the distinction between being (insert husband's name)'s wife versus being a Navy wife.  I thought it was an interesting distinction.  I took it as she never wants to define herself as being a Navy wife (and maybe I'm off-base with my assumption).  I find it interesting that a lot of military wives seem to define themselves as just that.... an Army/ Air Force  Marine/ Navy wife.  The reality is though, we are so much more than that.

It would be incorrect, however, not to include "military wife" as part of our identity.  That's our way of life; knowing that our husband (or wife, in some cases) could be called upon with very short notice (sometimes less than 24 hours) to get underway and/or deploy for our country.  Knowing that our spouse will miss so many milestones while deployed (in our case, Mike missed Lexie crawling, first steps, and first words). Knowing that every few years, we will move and it's our job to pick up the house, organize everything,  and put it all back together at a new location.  That's a part of who we are.  Not everyone can do what we do.  It take a lot of trust and communication between spouses to make a military marriage work.  It takes a lot of sacrifice.

                   I feel like we appreciate time with our sailor more because he's not always around
                               
Sometimes, I'm not sure regular people understand that.  I've had people tell me that I "signed up for this life" and that I "knew what I was getting into".  To some extent, yes, I'll agree with those statements.  I was fully aware I was marrying someone serving in the military, but on the flip side, that's who I fell in love with.  You can't just turn off what you feel because you don't like someone's choice of occupation.  If you can, you never felt love for them in the first place. So yes, it was a choice I made, to marry to man I love, but don't confuse that and think that I enjoy every second of being the wife of a sailor.

Conversely, I do not agree with people solely identifying themselves as a military wife.  Give yourself some credit, there is more to you than just being the wife of Seaman Timmy.  You had a life before you met (hopefully), and you should continue to have one afterwards.  I refuse to put all my dreams on hold until Mike is done serving (he still wants to do another 15 years), and it's not fair to assume I would.  Mike would never ask that of me.  Will it make accomplishing my dreams more difficult?  Sure.  I want to be a lawyer.  I need to stay in one place long enough to complete law school.  I am unsure what will happen after that, but that's okay (not really, because I like to plan, but I'm trying to let it be okay).  We're taking each obstacle as it comes.  There are plenty of spouses out there who manage to maintain a career while married to a service member.  Having that separate identity is healthy, and I believe it makes it easier when they are gone, to have something to preoccupy yourself with.

How you define yourself, or don't define yourself, can make all the difference on your outlook in life.  I choose to wear both hats.  I am more than a regular wife, but I am also more than just a Navy wife.  I'm a combination.  I'm me.  I out on whatever hat is necessary at the time.  I will not be pigeon holed into one or the other because for me, I need to be both.  Now if only some of these crazy wives would get that...


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

the way things were

Having a child (or multiple children) changes you, in more ways than one.  The life you once had will never be the same.  Most of time, I really enjoy my life as a mother, but I'm willing to bet that most moms (if not all) have those moments of, "What was I thinking?!?!"  Some changes are subtle, others are more obvious...

Take our bodies for example.... unless you were blessed with amazing genes (or lots of money for a nanny and personal trainer to kick your post-partum behind into shape), your body underwent some serious changes.  I was one of those who was oh-so-hopeful that my body would just bounce back.  Not so.  Granted, I could have been more active during my pregnancy, but hey, hind sight is 20/20, right?  Now, I'm squishy in all the wrong places and I'm 99% sure my hips are not where they used to be.  People don't tell you how hard losing pregnancy weight is either.  It's like it wasn't enough to go through the discomfort of pregnancy and delivery, but now I have to work twice as hard to get rid of all this weight?!  What a cruel, cruel joke.  Someday, I really will lose all this weight, hopefully in the upcoming months.

Another thing I've noticed is how your interactions with others change.  Once upon a time I would have been embarrassed to talk about pooping, vomit, discharge, and a whole host of topics.  Not anymore.  I've found that once you're a parent, almost anything goes.  I'v compared poop colors, discussed postpartum bleeding and discharge, skin rashes, episiotomies, vaginal tearing, you name it, and all without skipping a beat.  Pretty sure I was not too fond of those topics pre-baby.  I also find myself making friends with other moms and couples versus single friends.  I am in a different stage in my life, one that single friends do not seem to understand.  It's rough when you are friends with single (single meaning not married, by the way) people and they don't get why your child tags along, or the pains of finding a babysitter, or even the concept of putting someone other than themselves first.  My daughter ALWAYS comes first, no matter what.

That brings me to my next point (and the real reason for this post)... I cannot stand it when friends get annoyed that my daughter tags along.  I'm sorry that having a two year old at dinner isn't your idea of a good time, but you know what? She's my world.  Is it sometimes annoying and frustrating to constantly have to interrupt conversation to make sure she's not stabbing herself with a fork?  Sure.  But you know what?  I'd rather have her with me than feel guilty for leaving her behind.  I just find it rude that someone would say to me how annoying it is to constantly be interrupted by my daughter.  It makes me want to slap someone.

Perhaps that is why I have (unconsciously) begun to distance myself from my single friends.  There are so many ways Alexis has changed my life, and most of them are good.  Sure there are time when I think I must have been insane to want a child... but, I have it pretty easy.  She's smart, very talkative, active (a double- edged sword), happy and charming, what's not to like?  I sometimes think about how my life would be different without her... but, I wouldn't trade a second with her for my previous life.  If someone doesn't want to understand what a blessing she is, I guess they have no business being a part of my life!  I certainly wouldn't want to spoil someone's evening with a charming little girl.... why waste her time on someone like that?  She's too good for that! :)

                                                 the ray of sunshine that changed my life

Monday, January 21, 2013

in search of adventure....

I have long debated starting my own blog... but I have been unsure how to really go about it.  I've been uncertain on what to write about; what my "niche" would be in the blogoshere.  There are many blogs I enjoying reading, each with it's own topic, so to speak.  All the "how to's" of blogging stress how important it is to not have your blog jumbled with multiple topics- apparently that doesn't get you as many readers. I guess that's not my goal right now.  Right now, I am just dipping my toe in the water, seeing where the ripples take me.

I have always enjoyed writing, especially free writing.  To me, it has always been an easier way of expressing myself and getting thoughts out.  I'm one of those people who needs to write things down.  There are so many pieces of paper (envelopes, scrapes of junk mail, notepads, whatever) around my computer with things jotted down on them.  I'm a list-maker, I'm infamous for my to-do lists (just ask my husband!).  Not only do I like to make lists, but I am also OCD, so once there are too many lines through tasks, I am highly likely to make a new list of the remaining tasks just to make it look nicer.  Not that any of this has anything to do with a blog, but the point is, I enjoy writing (or in this case, typing).

My original desire in having a my own blog was to create a page where my family (immediate and extended), as well as my husband's family, would be able to find updates on our lives and pictures of our adventures.  That sounds great and all, but I feel like I want this to be more than that.  Not to sound egocentric, but I'm hoping this blog will be more about the ins and outs of my life (which of course includes my husband and daughter), what I do, things that work for me, things that don't.  Perhaps I'll start posting about my Pinterest experiments (I'm always trying out projects and recipes I pin).

I guess what I've taken a long time to say is that I'm starting on this adventure, and I hope you'll stick around the enjoy it with me.  Who knows, maybe I'll find a fairytale of my own...